{Friday, June 29, 2007 . My first vaulable Life Lesson =)}

HaHa Hello everyone =) Just wanted to post about my recent Trial& Tribulation before God and cant say I did very well.

Ok It all started after MIT. When I just found out that church didnt encourage BGRs, so I readily just gave it up. Then rumours went around that I was a playboy so was really ticked off by that. That was just the beginning. Then about 4 days after that, my best friend for 9 years died of stress and a heart condition. The best part was thatI was too caught up in my own problems to help her. So I felt really guilty.

Thats when Satan really started to attack me and I am quite ashamed that I believed him because I started to feel like God had left me. I started feeling really lousy, then I went back to my old self. For those who know, then you should know what I am talking about. Anyway, I had thoughts about dropping out of IGNYTE for some reason. Then I got alot of msn messages about it. Then one night or rather really early morning Sister Brenda talked/ scolded me. Even though I knew it was out of concern I still felt rather angry.

Then I started to pray again =). Still didn't manage to sleep but I had my longest TAWG, around 4 hours. Then I had to leave for training, still feeling sad but felt some weight lifted.

The came Life conference. I went there just like my normal self. So don't think anbody noticed that I was sad. Then during the sermon by Pastor Dowdy, God was speaking to me about something ENTIRELY different then what she was sharing about. Then that night when I came home, I really just began to let it all go to God. Won't go so much into detail about that but it wasn't pretty.

Then I really felt better, much better than anyone could have made me feel, for the first time after about a week I finally caught some good sleep because other than that, I didnt sleep for 5 days and for 2 nights I slept 1-3 hours but woke up because of terrible nightmares. All in all this was a real test for my faith and now I realise that I really just have to keep believing no matter what circumstances I am in and you should too.

Now for the acknowledgements =)

SISTER BRENDA!!!- Thanks for that waking up talk that early morning, even though you were super tired, but without it I wouldnt have reflected at all.

Brother Zhi hao- For sorta counselling me =)

Buzz group - For scolding me >.> and kept telling me not to leave and yea it was for my own good... and I am GLAD that I didn't.

God - For without Him I would be dead right about now.

Ok thats it =)

Loves <3 Joshua =)

Sold Out for Jesus fishing at Friday, June 29, 2007
------